


Cultural Misunderstandings

by Broba



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bathing/Washing, F/M, Misunderstanding, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-10
Updated: 2012-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-01 18:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broba/pseuds/Broba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave learns that there's more to being a moirail then just being close friends, as Terezi teaches him...</p>
<p>This story follows directly on from Bro's Swag, which itself occupies the same world as Platonic Bonding and Brazilian Centipede... yet more nuttiness about trying to build a working relationship with a troll!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cultural Misunderstandings

The Strider household echoed, as it always did, to the sound of strifing. The combats were regular and often results in severed furniture, broken fittings, and general disarray. The security deposit on the apartment was long gone, they would not be seeing it again.

This time, Bro had the upper hand. Dave might have the slightest hair of advantage when it came to speed, but Bro could give as good as he got and easily outmatched Dave in experience. He didn't make the mistakes that Dave occasionally did, and Bro would press hard the slightest opening in Dave's defences. This time, the battle went to Bro, and Dave knew it when he found himself hurled into a couch at high speed, bleeding from his shoulder.

Bro put aside his blade and stared down at his brother.  
"We done?"  
Dave gritted his teeth and nodded angrily, "we done."  
"Fuckin' right. Your turn to do the laundry, dick."  
"Fine."

Tavros rolled over to them, a look of concern on his face. Bro just shook his head and petted Tavros on the cheek. Those two had become inseparable, lately. Dave said nothing, he had no room to judge since he had acquired a troll of his own.

Terezi was all over him as soon as the battle was finished. It had taken enough arguing for her to realise that she shouldn't leap to his defence every time Bro decided to spring one of his random strifing sessions, but nothing would stop her from crawling all over Dave obnoxiously afterwards. She sniffed and snuffled over his chest, occasionally flicking her otngue out like a snake, checking his vitals for injury.  
"Are you hurt, huh?"  
"I'm fine,"  
"I see blood, there's pretty blood, you're hurt."  
"I'm not hurt. I'm fuckin' fine, promise."  
"You're bleeding, there's more of it."  
"It's gonna need stitches," sighed Dave, "get Bro, he knows what to do."  
"What?"  
Terezi stared blindly at him. Oddly, she looked as though he had slapped her.  
"What? Get Bro, he's got a first aid kid and shit, he can deal with it."  
"But," she stammered, "no! I'm here!"  
"I know you're here," Dave repeated slowly, "and now that we've fully established that, would you please go and grab Bro?"  
Terezi bit her lip and looked as though she was about to cry, but she just nodded and slid off him to slink after Bro.

Bro went and fetched the first aid kit in his own damn good time. The cut was shallow, but it still ruined a perfectly good shirt with all the bleeding. Dave stripped to the waist and laid back as Bro espertly stitched him up. The brothers had gone through this many times before, one or the other of them was always doing the tending, it was beyond a ritual now and they were entirely relaxed. Terezi on the other hand was becoming more and more frantic in the corner, and Tavros was looking distinctly queasy. Dave tried yelling at her to get over herself and stop sulking in the corner a few times, but it was no good.

Dave leaned up slightly to glare over the back of the couch at her.  
"What?"  
She shook her head.  
"Fuckin' what?" He sighed, "look, I'm in a lot of pain here, just tell me. What bullshit crazy-ass troll rule have I broken this time?"  
"Fuckin' hold still," muttered Bro.  
"Nothing!" Terezi snapped back at him.  
"Oh so I am one fine-ass piece of polite mother fucker over here who ain't broken no rules then?" Dave shouted, "I guess I got nothin' to worry about, I am sure there ain't goin' to be a whole shit-ton of guilt tripping later on!"  
"I said hold fuckin' still!" Bro put a hand on his chest to stead him.  
"Yeah!" Terezi yelled back at him, "you got it, it's all just stupid troll stuff anyway!"

She stormed out of the room and slammed the door. They heard the sound of angry footsteps, pausing as she poked at the stairs with her cane, before retreating up them. Bro sighted and snapped the thread with his teeth, he was finished. He nodded and went off to the kitchen to try and figure out where they were hiding the beer this time. As Dave sighed and flopped back on the couch Tavros rolled up to him and cleared his throat softly.  
"Tav."  
"Dave."  
"What the fuck just happened there, huh?"  
"Well, uh," he rubbed the back of his head, "you have to admit it was kinda... freaky..."  
Dave glanced around, Bro was nowhere to be seen. He sat himself up with a pained grunt and frowned at Tavros.  
"Okay, you're going to have to explain this to me. What was so freaky."  
"The way Mister Strider was, you know,"  
"What?"  
"He was all, uh, sort of helping you and such."  
"So any time I help out my Bro are you all sat there gettin' worked up?"  
"N-no! I mean, me and Mister Strider aren't, uh, we are in a different, well, it's not like he's my moirail."  
Dave made a face and thought about this.  
"So, if you and Bro were moirails," Tavros was already squirming at the thought but Dave pressed on, "so if you and him was, like, moirails and I was all up and helping patch Bro up, how would that make you feel?"  
"Da-a-ave," Tavros whined, "stop, you're just being weird, because, that makes me feel bad about it."  
Dave's expression fell, "so when I need stitches, that's, like, a moirail-only thing?"  
Tavros just shrugged, it was a subject he had never needed to submit to scrutiny before.  
"But Terezi... I mean, let's face it. She's not got the best depth perception, if you know what I mean. Bro is good at that kind of thing."  
Tavros just shrugged again, "well, no one made you become moirails."

Terezi was lurking in Dave's room when he found her, she was sat up on his bed with her knees up under her chin, fuming steadily. Dave coughed and sidled up to the bed, he was in trouble and he knew it.  
"Hey Terezi," he began, trying to maintain some semblance of coolness in the situation.  
"What." She responded flatly.  
"I... I think I got a few scratches here, maybe you wanna take a look?"  
She stared into space witheringly. "Oh sure, throw a bit of charity at me. I'm not a-" she swallowed, "palewhore!"  
Dave was uncertain what the word meant but he thought he could guess. He sat down on the bed and flopped over, looking up at her between her feet. "Hey Rezzi,"  
"What."  
"Look, I really am sorry. I guess I didn't think."  
"You never do. You act like we're not even a thing."  
"Humans don't do things the way you do though,"  
"Yeah. I get it, now."  
He tried to start over, "Rezzi, when you said we were moirails, I really didn't get what that meant. And I guess I still don't, but you have to help me figure this stuff out, it's all new to me," he rolled onto his back and reached up to tickle at her knees with his fingertips, "come o-o-o-on,"  
Terezi grinned despite herself, "you're so pitiable when you do that,"  
"Yeah, you totally pity the shit out of me, I know it."  
"Well, maybe I forgive you-"  
"Great!"  
"If!"  
"Uh-oh,"  
"If! You do something for me first."  
"Okay sure, I deserve it. Lay it on me, moirail."  
Terezi smirked wider, "come with me..."

They were in the bathroom, and Dave was crushingly, embarrassingly aware of just how nude Terezi was becoming. As soon as they had walked in she had pulled her shirt up and off, exposing the mild curve of her little belly. When she bent down to strip off her pants Dave had almost fled, he had no idea where this was going but he certainly wasn't sure he was ready for it. Terezi picked up on his reticence and tossed her pants at him dismissively, before pulling down what Dave could only describe as highly specialised troll skivvies.  
"Stop shivering, I'm the naked one Da-a-ave!"  
"I... know."  
"Would you feel better if you undressed too?"  
"I really wouldn't,"  
"Suit yourself."

She twisted a tap and got a bath running. Soon, she slipped in with a delighted sigh. Bubbles coated her and slid up her generous cleavage. Dave just stood there, clenching his fists. He had to admit, he had thought about it- of course he had, what guy wouldn't? But to go ahead and do something about it was something else altogether. What if he screwed it up? What if, horror of horrors, he lost his cool? He suddenly wished that Bro had been inclined to give him advice regarding girls that went beyond plush rumps and puppetry. He looked up suddenly and realised he was being spoken to.  
"Dave!"  
"What? Uh, what is it?"  
Terezi ran a hand through her hair pointedly and settled back in the bath, "get to work moirail, you got to earn forgiveness."  
"You want me to...?"  
"Wash my hair!"

Dave knelt down by the bath awkwardly behind her. He cupped his hands under the water and let it drain over her hair. Terezi just sighed happily and practically purred as he began massaging shampoo into her scalp. Her hair was more coarse then a human's, it felt almost bristly, but it was still glossy and thick. It felt like running his hands through dense grass.  
"This is nice," murmured Terezi.  
"You just want me to wash your hair?"  
"Sure. And my back."  
"Why?"  
"Because it's nice."  
Dave shrugged and got back to it. Now that the initial shock of seeing her naked was passed, he had to agree there was something soothing about just being there together. The air was humid, warming and calming. When he got to her horns she giggled and almost splashed him.  
"Dave!"  
"What?"  
"Careful! They're sensitive!"  
"Uh, when you say sensitive..."  
"I mean sensitive! Be careful with your tiny little pointy fingers!"  
Dave grinned and just for a moment, imagined what it would be like to put his lips around the tip of a horn and suck on it gently. It would probably freak her out. She would probably sit up too fast and accidentally stab him. She would probably- he hesitated, thinking it through. She would probably think that wasn't something that a moirail ought to do.

Dave smiled to himself and rubbed a little foamy water behind her ears.  
"Rezzi,"  
"Mm?"  
"Sorry for bein' a dick before."  
"I know... sorry for being all... expecting. I know it's different for humans."  
"Yeah it is. Being naked around each other is, uh,"  
"What?"  
Dave clucked his tongue, and grinned, "it's kind of what matesprits do, I think."  
"Really?"  
"Like, my Bro and Tavros. Matesprits, right?"  
"Mm, right."  
Dave cupped his hands and sluiced the foam and shampoo from her hair, "Rezzi?"  
"Yes Dave?"  
"I, uh,"  
"Come on, what is it?"  
"I'm kinda glad we're moirails. I was... pretty nervous when you took off your clothes."  
"The cool kid got nervous!"  
"Ah-h-h come on!"  
"Ahaha, I'm sorry, I won't laugh, promise. Were you really nervous?"  
"Kinda."  
"Don't worry. You'll be a great matesprit, I can tell. You're going to blow your matesprit's think pan."  
"Thanks Rezzi. Hey, hold your nose."  
"Why?"  
Dave pushed her head down under the water with a laugh and when she came up she made sure to splash him mercilessly.

Back in Dave's room, Terezi was sat on the bed swaddled in a towel and Dave was sat behind her brushing her hair out while she tapped away on her husktop, occasionally leaning forwards to lick the screen.  
"Dave?"  
"Hm?"  
"What's that thing down there?"  
"Huh?"  
"I can feel it pressing against my back, what's that?"  
"Oh don't worry about it, that's matesprit stuff."  
"Oh, okay." She got back to typing. "Tavros is asking if everything's okay now."  
"Sure, tell him it's all cool. I mean it is, right?"  
"Mhm!"  
He brushed her hair over and over, until it was glossy and smooth like the shell of a beetle, and he was satisfied.


End file.
